Why not "The American Way"?

I've yet to see Superman Returns but a disturbing bit of news hit me smack in the face today. Apparently Supes' long standing tagline of "Truth, Justice and the American Way" has been changed to "Truth, Justice & All that stuff" in the new movie. According to screenwriters Mike Dougherty and Dan Harris:

"I don't think 'the American way' means what it meant in 1945. He's an alien, from Krypton; he has come to Earth to be kind of a savior for this world, not our country ... And he has no papers.
He's not just for Metropolis and not just for America. What would happen with the immigration laws we have now?"

What the fuck. You don't like the present administration? Fine. But this is an insult to America. You know America, the country you (Harris & Dougherty) were born in and reside in. The nation that created the characters you have made a living writing screenplays for. If they changed the line for the foreign markets, fine; lots of lines get changed for the overseas audiences. But this is pure crap. It's spitting in the face of not only this country, but in the face of the character himself. And it's not just the screenwriters I'm mad at. The director, the producers and the studio could have, at any time, made them put the line in the movie. But instead they sat on their hands and did nothing. Is this going to make me skip the film? No. I won't let two dingbats that don't appreciate just how good they have it ruin it for me. But it's still a shameful situation all around.

technorati tags: Comics, Politics

Review: Heroes of Might and Magic V

I have a very complicated relationship with the Might & Magic series. Might & Magic 1 was one of the first games I clearly remember buying and I was enthralled by it. It may be hard to imagine today when every third title on the shelves seems to be an RPG of some sort, but there was nothing quite like it on the market at the time (at least there was nothing like it for the Commodore 64). The first five or six iterations of the series were anything you could ask for in a game: simple, engrossing gameplay, an interesting but not overwhelming story and enough content to keep you occupied for months. The series was successful enough to generate a spin-off series: Heroes of Might & Magic. HOMM was a turn based strategy title instead of a straight RPG and was as great as it's progenetor, and the first three iterations of the series were sublimely fun. Then came the sucking. Like a colossal carnivorous ape 3DO devoured Might & Magic whole and left behind only a steaming, fetid mess. Titles that used to be fun, expansive and innovative became the worst sort of cookie cutter crap. Not to get overdramatic but this was one of the first time a beloved series of mine had withered like this, it really pissed me off. Heroes IV was disappointing but viable, the main series however degenerated so badly as to be almost unplayable. 3DO eventually did the right thing and died a slow, painful death, leaving the franchise in the capable hands UbiSoft. The first fruit of that union dropped a few weeks ago in the form of Heroes of Might & Magic V.

GAMEPLAY
Heroes V is a pretty standard turn based strategy title. Gather resources, build armies, construct cities, layeth the smackdown on opposing armies, lather, rinse, repeat. Many of the changes implemented for Heroes IV, including using heroes as battle units, non upgradable creatures, and the overly fragmented magic system, have been scrapped. Heroes V feels more like the older games in the series, which should please the old school fans. The campaign clocks in at a solid 30 hours, with individual maps checking in at 1-2 hours each. The few scenario maps that are included are okay, but there are far too few of them for a full retail release. However the biggest complaint about the series since it's inception, the lackluster AI, remains much the same. The computer acts no differently on the various difficulty levels, it just starts off each map with more and more resources on the higher levels. And even on the higher levels the computer really isn't much of a challenge.

VISUALS
The biggest difference between Heroes IV & Heroes V? Style. The graphics in 4 were all right, but in the transition from 2D sprites to 3D models the creatures became overwhelmingly unimaginative. 5 returns the art to it's former glory, this time in full, beautiful 3D. The character animations are smooth but get repetitive really quickly.

AUDIO
The effects and battle sounds are servicable but bland. The music could have come from any other fantasy based title and lacks the grandeur of titles like Oblivion. The voice acting isn't terrible, but it's not good either. The script takes itself way too seriously and is devoid of humor.

FEATURES
There is multiplayer, but to be honest the thought of playing a turn based game online gives me a migrane. However the lack of a map editor or a random map generator is inexcusable, especially with how few scenario maps are included with the game.

OVERALL
A fun strategy title that is even better if you're a fan of the franchise. But the lack of some vital features drags the score down.
3 out of 5

technorati tags: Videogames

Back to the Future(ama)!

Family Guy is back. Celebrity Deathmatch is back. The freakin' Oblongs are are not coming back. And now, finally, the cosmic scales are beginning to balance out, as Futurama is going back into production. Now I'd prefer that Fry, Leela, Bender and the rest were returning to [Adult Swim], but a new life on Comedy Central will have to suffice. Futurama was one of the most abused good shows of all time, frequently being relegated to the football overrun timeslot on Fox' Sunday night schedule (or left off the schedule altogether) when lesser shows were given plum spots and promoted to the moon. The 13 episode order is a pretty safe bet without being a real vote of confidence for the series. No word on whether these episodes will be produced alongside the four DTV movies bandied about a few months back or if they will be replacing them on the slate.

technorati tags: Animation, Television, SciFi

A New Frontier in Animation?

If this is true it almost, almost, makes up for the cancellation of Justice League. Word came today, via Ain't it Cool News, that Darwyn Cooke's magnum opus DC: The New Frontier may be headed to the small screen as a made-for-TV animated movie, with Bruce Timm producing. If you haven't read DC: The New Frontier then do yourself a favor and go find a copy. The book used a visual style that was very reminiscent of the Timm/Dini DC animated universe and managed to include a ton of DC characters, both legendary and lesser known. Now this is just a rumor, AICN is good but they have been known to jump the gun. That said, I will be watching for an announcment at the San Diego Comic Con this July.

technorati tags: Animation, Comics, Television

Off With Their Heads! MTV's Sic'EmAtion

Have you ever watched a show so bad, so mind-numbingly awful, that you start contemplating self-lobotomy as a method of escape? I had one of those moments this past week when I was unlucky enough to stumble across MTV2's new animation block that is oh so creatively titled "Sic'EmAtion". The animation block, consisting of old episodes of Beavis & Butthead, new episodes of Celebrity Deathmatch and two new shows, Where My Dogs At? & Chico and Guapo is the most painful thing to grace the small screen since . What makes it suck so much? Firstly it's so clearly trying to be [Adult Swim], which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it misses what makes [AS] great. Much like how hordes of imitators tried to duplicate the success of Rockstar Games' Grand Theft Auto series by just cramming hookers and four letter words into their craptastic games, MTV thinks that any animated show that has crude, mature humor will be an instant hit. Yes, the [AS] shows are often loaded with blood, vomit and boobie jokes, but they are secondary to the mad-cap humor of the shows. The real key to [AS] is the combination of absurd and surreal elements with real, unique humor. It doesn't always work, but you always get the sense that they are willing to try anything. The Sic'EmAtion shows are the lowest brand of humor; unoriginal, stale and tedious material that is literally flooded with the most assinine of pop culture refrences.

Oooh, Lindsay Lohan & Mischa Barton are both really thin, lets make an entire 22 minute episode about it! Hey that guy is wearing a scarf! He has to be gay, lets fix him up with the leather queen. Ugh. Crap like this kills me. It's typical MTV dreck, soulless, stupid, derivative and oh so self important. It cannot be cancelled fast enough. Get the guillotinne ready. It's choppin' time.

technorati tags: Animation, Television

Justice League of America #2 preview

Because the cover is so damn pretty.

We know 4 of the members for certain, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman & Red Tornado. It's obvious that a Green Lantern, a Hawk and an Archer are members, but which? And finally three mystery silhouettes. The suspense is killing me.

technorati tags: Comics

Taylor vs. Wright Tonight

This is, in my opinion, the most interesting fight to date this year. De La Hoya - Mayorga had some interesting storylines, but Oscar's win was never really in doubt. Hopkins - Tarver was a trash talking dream, but it was still a 37 year old versus a 41 year old. Corales - Castillo never got to the ring. But Jermain Taylor - Winky Wright , ah this fight has it all (with one possible exception). JT is one of the rising stars of boxing, young (27), personable, very talented, and most importantly he fights in the upper part of the scale. Winky is one of the great stories in sports, a good guy that never got any respect and even less press untill he persevered and pushed himself to the forefront of the sport. Neither fighter talks much trash, but both are very talented and well rounded. It's the classic matchup; the cagey veteran against the big punching youngster. The counter-puncher versus the banger. Both have a very good shot at winning, and for once it's a real title up for grabs. Now the bad news. Neither of the Taylor - Hopkins bouts were particularly interesting from a viewership perspective, and Winky just tends to make dull fights. That doesn't mean these guys can't have an entertaining fight, both fighters have had great bouts in the past, but it doesn't scream 'all action, nothing but razzle dazzle' to me. An important fight, yes. Exciting? We shall see.

technorati tags: Sports, Boxing

24 hours in the Big Apple

24 is one of my favorite shows on television. I thought it slipped a little last season (how many times can Jack Bauer be arrested, or switch from friend of CTU to enemy, in one season?) but it's still one of the top 10 shows on television. Now, it has a shot at being even better. One of my big gripes with last season was the setting. Los Angeles has a certain character, but the character just got old this year. Now with producer Joel Surnow revealing that:

"We are in conversations about shooting some stuff in New York for [next] season,"

The show has the opportunity to employ one of the great character actors in the history of motion pictures, New York City. I think it's the perfect time to make this move. Most of Jack's supporting cast from earlier seasons are either dead (Tony Almeda, Michelle Dessler, David Palmer) or uninterested in doing the show anymore (Kim Palmer, Audrey Raines). Those characters that remain, like Chloe and Buchanon, can easily be shifted out to the east coast. It could be a shot in the arm for a show that I thought spent most of last season treading water. My big worry? The major threat has escalated every season. Will the producers feel comfortable subjecting NYC to even the threat of a major terrorist attack in the post 9/11 world?

technorati tags: television

52 & Lost

Ever since the second issue of 52 I've been drawn to the similarities between it and ABC's Lost. Both feature ensemble casts with characters moving in and out of the spotlight as time progresses. Both feature a host of mysteries and questions, while being parsimonious with the answers. Both operate on timespans that are rare or unheard of in their own mediums. In fact the more I think about it, the more I realize that 52 probably wouldn't be on the shelves right now if not for the mega-hit status Lost has. The thought of a weekly comic starring a bunch of C list characters, even with the slew of guest stars and some of the biggest names in the industry collaborating on it, would have been insane two years ago. But as the survivors of Oceanic 803, and to a lesser extent shows like Battlestar Galactica and 24, have shown there is a market for compelling, episodic stories out there. However the most compelling connection between the two works came as I was perusing week 6 of 52 and come across this 2 page splash.

Compare this to the "blacklight blast door" from earlier this year on Lost.

(click to enlarge)

These are the dramatic equivalent of a tight pair of jeans; they reveal juuuuuuust enough of the shape of things to come that you stare, entranced by the sight, but without actually revealing any of the goods. The big differences? For one I think 52 will see the shelves with much more regularity than Lost airs. 52 also lacks some of the tension Lost enjoys due to the OYL jump. You know that most of the major DC characters will make it through the year intact, while you're not quite sure about the castaways.

technorati tags: comics, television

Video Games That Need Sequels #3: Psi-Ops

Most of the games I cover in this series have one thing in common, their lack of success was due, at least in part, to market oversaturation. They we're released at the same time as a flood of similar games in theme or genre. Psi-Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy fits that description to a T.

While it was better, maybe much better, than the majority of titles released in it's time, it wasn't quite unique enough to imprint itself on the minds of the gaming public. While the game had some rough edges, the story was weak and the ending was awful, it was a blast to play. The psionic powers were done really well and were actually the focus of the game. You could just shoot a guy, but instead why not drain him for his brain mojo, making his head explode, Scanners style, in the process. Or pick that punk ass up and slam him repeatedly into the other goons. It was, at the time, the best implementation of a physics engine in a game. Rag-doll physics are all well and good, but Psi-Ops really made it central to the game instead of just a post-mortem animation. It also had a good deal of very satisfying and well integrated puzzle solving sequences.

Why it deserves a sequel now. While physics engines have advanced a bit since Psi-Ops was released in 2004, the implementation of them really hasn't advanced much. Half-Life 2 really utilized it's physics well, very few (if any) games since have used it for anything other than a gimmick. A title that actually utilizes it as a game element would still be pretty unique on the market, and with the power available on the XBox 360 and the Playstation 3 the exploding heads and char-broiled bodies would look amazing.

technorati tags: videogames

RANT: George Lucas is Satan

Why do I consider George Lucas to be Satan? (George Lucsifer?) If you read the Bible then you know that Satan, when he was known as Lucifer, was not just an angel, but the greatest and holiest of them all. He was essentially God's right hand man, until he was overwhelmed by pride and attempted to overthrow The Boss. For this sin he was thrown into Hell for all time. 20 years ago George Lucsifer was the shining light of Nerddom. Star Wars, Indiana Jones, hell I'd even throw Willow into the good pile. Lucsifer was like a gigantic mechanical teat, producing the geek equivalent of black tar heroin; we were hooked from the first hit and we didn't care because the high was sublime. But somewhere along the way Lucsifer was consumed by pride. Suddenly the shining light was shrowded in a dark miasma of hubris. First came the 're-release' of the original Star Wars trilogy into theaters. A moment I had been looking forward to my whole life, seeing Stat Wars on the big screen, was befouled when Greedo shot first and Jabba the Hutt looked like a Playstation game. But I came away from the desecration of my childhood battered but unbroken. My faith in Lucas was still strong. Then came May 19, 1999, and my spirit fled my body. Gone were the noble knights and rascaly Space Pirates. In were midichlorians and Gungans. You want character development, action and emotion? No you don't, you want wooden acting, cutesy aliens and politics, all stripped, scrubbed and sanitized for your protection. I went into each subsequent Star Wars movie with lowered expectations and still left the theater disappointed and sad. And the worst, most painful part of all? Every now and then the haze lifts just enough to give us all a glimpse of the Light. Pod Racing. Darth Maul. Epic space battles. Knights of the Old Republic. Timothy Zahn's novels. It's like standing outside an AA meeting with a bottle of Tequila. Now Lucsifer has reversed field and announced that the original trilogy would finally be making it's way to DVD the way it was meant to be: unrestored. But even now, there is a snake in the garden. It turns out that these discs, instead of being made from the original prints of the movies, will just be rips of the Laserdisc versions. Lucasfilm claims that no unmodified prints of the original trilogy remain to use. This is the artistic equivalent of painting a beret on the Mona Lisa, or scribbling 'no fat chicks' on the Constitution. It gets worse. What I'm about to say is an opinion, not a fact. But I fear in the depths of my soul that sometime in the next few years this will come to pass.

I am convinced that George Lucas is going to REMAKE the original Star Wars Trilogy

New actors. New effects. 'Plot improvements'. The whole nine yards. Why do I think this?

• Liam Neeson has said in interviews that there were plans was for him, Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christensen to reshoot the scene with Obi Wan, Anakin & Yoda from the end of Return of the Jedi.
• Lucasfilm repotedly signed all of the key technical people to work on at least 1 more Star Wars film.
• Both Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen are supposedly signed for one more film at Lucasfilm
  
• Lucas is nuts and won't leave well enough alone

Could I be wrong, or crazy? Sure, after all this is still just speculation, but I feel in my gut that this IS what will happen. Do I expect an announcement tomorrow? No. He'll release the crappy laserdisc transfer of the OT on DVD, then 6 months to a year later an unaltered print of the OT will 'mysteriously' appear in time for a 30th anniversary holiday release on DVD. (I say he's evil, not stupid) Then some time after that, say 2008-2009 Lucas will come down from the mountain top and proclaim that 'fan interest' has convinced him to reimagine the original trilogy. It will be big and flashy and vapid. Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. The effects will be amazingly lifelike. The acting will be more wooden than you'd think is humanly possible. And it will make a Lucas a mint. Again.

technorati tags: movies, scifi

Feeling Funny: Cosplaying & LARPing

As the overlord of all that is Geeky, there is very little within my demesne that makes me feel the least bit uncomfortable. But every now and then I stumble upon something that makes me consider the fact that I may have unknowingly entered an alternate reality. Today we will be discussing those possible refugees from mirror-Earth, the Cosplayers and the LARPers. For those of you that reside in the blissful realms of ignorance, Cosplayers are those individuals that are so devoted to a character, or show, or book that they attend events and conventions in painstakingly handcrafted costumes inspired by their devotion. LARPers, the Willow to Cosplaying's Buffy, stands for Live Action Role Players. Literally it's people acting out pen and paper role playing games like D&D or Vampire: The Masquerade, complete with their own foam/latex weaponry and the occasional bit of armor.


Cosplaying apparently began in Japan, and most of the inspirations originate in the games, animes and manga of the Land of the Rising Sun. The next largest genus are the Sci-fi Cosplayers, those brave souls that garb themselves in the vestments of the Klingons, the Minbari, the Jedi, and the Cylons. Finally we have the occasional Cosplayers that delve into the realms of Western comic books or movies, but this breed is far more scarce than it's brethren. I'm not quite sure drives a person to cosplay. Is it the pure, beautiful love of a character? The chance to lose ones self in the realms of fantasy and adventure. Or are they just looking for an outlet for their underutilized sewing skills? Whatever the case, while their choices may be debatable their devotion and dedication is never in doubt. Many cosplayers spend scores, if not hundreds, of hours on their costumes and accessories; they truly wear their hearts on their selves.

LARPers on the other hand seem to spend much less on style than they do substance. While some attend LARPing events in home made chainmail or Troll outfits, most seem content to carry foam weapons of all sorts. Their goal isn't a spectacle as much as a grand adventure. LARPing conventions often span entire weekends and draw hundreds of participants.

What do I think of these Geekiest of pastimes? While I've never participated in either activity, I can absolutely see the allure. The sense of community and camaraderie that these events engender must be deeply fulfilling, and lets be honest, it this any worse than going to baseball fantasy camp, or a murder mystery weekend, or even a chili cookoff? And they're funny to look at.

technorati tags: culture

CHARACTER PROFILE #1: Captain Marvel

Real Name: Billy Batson
First Appearance: Whiz Comics #2 (Fawcett Comics)
Notable Quote: "SHAZAM"

(This is the first in a series of profiles of characters that I like or am intrigued by. Discuss)

Captain Marvel is one of the most elegantly simple characters in comic history, but that simplicity belies a depth that few creators successfully plumb. Billy Batson was an orphan boy that was given a magic word that when said would give him awesome powers. SHAZAM is not only the magic word, it's the name of the Wizard and an acronym of the gods that power Captain Marvel.
S - The Wisdom of Solomon
H - The Strength of Hercules
A - The Stamina of Atlas
Z - The Power of Zeus
A - The Courage of Achilles (although to be technical Achilles wasn't a god)
M - The Speed of Mercury
Captain Marvel was at one point in the early 1940's the highest selling comic book in America selling a mind boggling 4,000,000 copies a month of Captain Marvel Adventures. For a little perspective the best selling comics today are lucky to sell 150,000 copies. But, like almost all superhero comics, interest in Cap fell dramatically after WWII ended. The Fawcett characters ended up being bought by DC comics and were placed on Earth-S in the multiverse. Ironically since the trademark on the Captain Marvel name had lapsed and been snatched up by Marvel comics, Cap could not be refered to as Captain Marvel in the title of any comic or in most propotional material. To be honest I haven't read much of Cap's older stuff. Most of my experience with the character comes from his DC comics days, specifically from Crisis on Infinite Earths forward so that is what I'm going to focus on. After Crisis I and the subsequent Legends crossover Cap was made a part of the new Justice League. Although his tenure with the team lasted barely a year, it was here that his character would be set on a course that it rides to this day. For the first time Captain Marvel was portrayed as having the mind of Billy Batson. Billy and Marvel didn't simply swap places, instead Billy was transformed into his mental image of what an adult is, or should, be. This is my favorite part of the character. The concept of a boy, not a teen, not a young adult, but a boy having these unbeleiveable powers, in the body of a man is a fabulous concept. The struggle Billy goes through to live up to what he, as a child, thinks an adult should be is one of the more emotionally powerful concepts in comics. He has a very strong and unflinching moral code, his world is black and white, good and evil, right and wrong. This throwback to the sensibilities and morays of the Golden Age is a refreshing contrast to the post-modern world of anti-heroes that populate our comics today. He is (too) often thought of as simple or hokey by many of the other characters, but they also consider him to be one of the big guns of the DCU, even if much of the comic buying public disagrees. Marvel's most popular modern rendition came in the magnum opus that was Mark Waid & Alex Ross' Kingdom Come. In the book Cap served as an analogy for the Silver Age of comics, ironically pioneered by Marvel Comics' dynamic duo of Stan & Jack. Captain Marvel was both god and man, powerful and powerfully flawed. Alas none of the attempts to turn Cap into a star held. His book was cancelled and Cap himself faded into the background until Geoff Johns added him to the roster of the JSA for a few years. In the wake of DC's mega event Infinite Crisis Captain Marvel willingly trapped himself in the Rock of Eternity after his mentor, the wizard Shazam, was killed by the Spectre.

What does the future hold?
A new Captain Marvel 12 issue maxi series, entitled The Trials of Shazam will be spinning out of DC's Brave New World one shot later this summer. The new series, written by Judd Winick and pencilled by Howard Porter will debut later this summer. Speculation is that the book will focus on Billy assuming the mantle of Shazam with Captain Marvel, Jr (Freddy Freeman). moving up a rank. I really liked Winick's Superman/Shazam - First Thunder, so I have fairly high hopes for the series. I doubt Captain Marvel will ever take his place atop the Mount Rushmore of the DCU, but I feel he can be a very high B level character for a long time to come.
Thanks to both Erik Larsen & Scott Tipton for the great background.

technorati tags: comics

Lament for an Action Movie

I come this day, with grief in my heart and despair on my soul, to mourn a passing. Not of a man but of an idea. I come today to lay a wreath on the grave of an entire genre of American cinema, the Action Movie.

"What? The action movie isn't dead! You're a pompous jackass."

Yes while I may be a pompous jackass I assure you that the action movie, as a standalone genre, is going the way of the western and the musical. I want to ask all (three?) of you a question; What was the last pure action movie that was released in American theaters? Not 'slash' action movies, like Rush Hour, which is action/comedy, or LOTR, which is action/fantasy, or Star Wars which is action/sci-fi, but straight action. Not an easy question is it. Maybe you said Mr. & Mrs. Smith or The Transporter. But I'd bet at least some of you had to think back to at least the 1990s to come up with an answer. Up until the late 90s your local movie theater was probably swarming with action movies and their stars. Die Hard, Commando, Air Force One, Executive Decision, Marked for Death. Schwarzenegger, Ford, Seagal, Willis, Snipes. All of these names made big money in the previous decade. Now these kind of movies, and some of their stars, are banished to the realms of Direct-to-Video releases and USA networks movie of the week. The only action movies released theatrically now fall into 4 categories

• Pre existing or licenced franchises, such as Spiderman or Star Wars


• Summer special effects blockbusters. Movies like War of the Worlds, or Pearl Harbor that are just platforms to showcase the newest CGI effects.


• 'Epic' stories, like Gladiator, Saving Private Ryan and Braveheart.

What happened to the heist movies? The martial arts romps? The shoot em' ups? And it's not just your local multiplex, television is suffering a similar drought. The 1980's and early 1990's TV grid used to be chock full of fun action shows. A-Team. Knight Rider. Airwolf. Now it's pretty much 24 and a lot of procedural crime dramas. I want to believe, with all my heart, that the action movie isn't dead but it's instead just slumbering, but you can only live with a body for so long before the stench makes you acknowledge it's really dead. I can no longer keep up with the pretense. The action movie lived a long, vibrant life. It brought joy to the eyes of millions. It's time to give it the traditional Viking funeral it deserves. It's children will continue to live on, and thrive, in the projetors and DVD players of the world, much like the seeds of the Western and the Musical cling to cinema today.

I come not to praise the action movie, but to bury it

A Costanza Moment

Have you ever watched a show in which a character is going through a situation that is so embarrasing, so humiliating, that you the viewers begin to feel uncomfortable? That is what I call a Costanza Moment. Named, of course, after George Costanza of sSeinfeld fame, because no character in the history of television had more cringe inducing moments that ol' Georgie. Why do I bring this up? Because Fox has started airing edited versions of the superlative FX comedy, It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia, a show that is seemingly built around a series of Costanza Moments. No show makes me laugh so much while trying not to hide my head in shame. The second season will begin aring on FX on Thursday, June 29, but Fox will be airing the first season, with some edits, Sundays @ 9:30. Watch and feel funny.

My Top Comic Characters, Part 2

Here is the second part of my long winded ramblings about which funnybook characters I like, this time fom the House of Ideas. Each profile is once again followed by my creative dream team for that character.

10. Reed Richards: If I were doing this list a year ago he wouldn't be anywhere near it. I honestly didn't get the Fantastic Four when I was first collecting comics. But in the past year I've had the chance to read most of Mark Waid's run on FF and all of Ultimate FF and my feelings on ol' Stretcho have done a 180. He's not the nerdy father figure with the uninteresting powers he was in my youth. He is the Marvel universe's foremost genius, an unparelleled intellect with a strong moral code. He is, on so many levels, the father figure of the entire Marvel U. He's smart, compassionate, he leads by example, and he is fiercely protective of his family and friends. He is almost everything a father should be.
Dream Team: Warren Ellis & Doug Mahnke

9. Daredevil: He is, to me, Marvel's foremost "dark" hero. Spiderman goes through some heavy shit, but there is always a sense of light off in the distance. Not so with Daredevil. Everything in his life seems to be pain, and suffering, and torment. Spiderman can quip his way through a crisis. Daredevil just seems to move a little closer to the line that divides genius and maddness after each incident. On the other hand he gets more, and better, ass than any other comic character. (only Nightwing comes close in this regard) Is it worth all the suffering? That's a question I'll leave to the philosophers.
Dream Team Robert Kirkman & Tony Harris

8. Beast: I really can't decide which version of the Beast I like more. The cat-like bounding ball of fur that made the first issue of X-Factor I ever bought so much fun, or the dignified Lion-man that he became under the watchful eye of Grant Morrison? Either way, he's a great character; erudite, jocular, nimble, but oh so loaded with pathos at times. Casting Kelsey Grammer as Hank McCoy in the third X-Men movie was spot on note perfect.
Dream Team Brian Michael Bendis & Ed Benes

7. Phoenix/Jean Grey: You know, I'm not sure if I like the character of Phoenix as much as I like how other characters work with her. She seems to bring out the best in the other members of the X-Books, probably because she's had more funerals than I've had pairs of boots. Jean is also, through her relationship with Cyclops, related to just about every character in the Marvel universe. The Dark Phoenix Saga is rightly regarded as one of the great epics of comic history and one of the first stories I read as a kid, it really made an impact on me and helps earn her a place on the list. It may also be due to the fact that I have a thing for redheads.
Dream Team: Chris Claremont & Greg Land

6. Emma Frost: No Marvel character has improved more in the last decade than Emma Frost. In the skilled hands of Scott Lobdell, Grant Morrison & Joss Whedon Emma went from being a fairly one dimentional attempt at fanservice to being my favorite X-Man right now. She has the distinction of being the outsider in a team of outcasts. She can get away with saying and doing things that no other X-Character can. She still dresses like a dominatrix, albeit a very expensive and trendy one.
Dream Team: Greg Rucka & Frank Cho

5. Archangel: Archangel is on this list more for the past (now the fairly distant past) than any sort of present accomplishment. In fact Warren Worthington III isn't even on one of the 6 or 7 X-Teams now. But one of the first comics I bought was an issue of X-Factor focusing on a blue skinned, razor winged former playboy going through his own presonal hell. And I was hooked. I feel that the decision to turn Angel into Archangel was one of the best decisions Marvel ever made, and the decision to revert him to the blonde, blue eyed and feathered was just as egregous. Even though Archangel was a grim 'n gritty character, I still loved him. The visual of him swooping down, wings ablaze with reflected light, was sketched (badly) in innumerable notebook margins during my school days. I still hope to write comics someday. I still hope to write X-Men comics someday. And when that day comes, the razor wings will return.
Dream Team: Ed Brubaker & Jim Lee

4. Thing: "It's Clobbering Time." Simple. To the point. Catchy. Fun. Everything I just wrote can apply to The Thing's battle cry, or the man himself. The concept of a man residing in the form of a monster is an old one in literature, but there have been few iterations better than Benjamin J. Grimm. The Thing is the master of the emotional roller coaster. He'll have the reader in stitches one moment, and in tears another. He is flawed and strong, comic and tragic. He is the Marvel Universe's big brother, embodying protection, guidance, fraternity, love and a smattering of mischeviousness all in one big rocky package.
Dream Team: Dan Slott & Mike Weringo

3. Wolverine: Yes he is over used and overexposed. But he is still, at times a great character. At his core he is a man struggling with demons. He is a killer that seeks peace. He is a savior that must slay. The best Wolverine stories are not about him fighting ninjas, or cyborgs, or government funded projects. The best Wolverine stories are about the Man, the noble samurai, fighting the Animal, the berzerker, inside of him to answer the big Question: "Which is the real, true Logan." Part of the problem with Logan the past few years is these themes have fallen by the wayside in a flood of hacked limbs and gore. Wolverine can be a fun, bloody, larger than life romp, but at times you have to come back to the core of the character.
Dream Team: Alan Moore & John Romita, Jr.

2. Spider-Man: Like all of the great Marvel characters Spidey is equal parts pain and pleasure. The genuine joy he seems to feel while swinging through New York, the fun he has webbing up muggers, has to be tempered with the Pain. Whether that Pain is familial, physical, or emotional, it's always there, even if it is temporarilily sheathed with a skin of quips and puns. He is an icon, an archetype, and for good reason. "With great power comes great responsibility" is the line that helped change superheroes from golden, unassailable gods, into flawed but still magnificent men.
Dream Team: Gail Simone & Phil Jimenez

1. Magneto: I have this image in my mind of Magneto, in all his glory, floating down to confront an army of X-Men. What little of his face can be seen through the helmet betrays no fear, only resolve, confidence and a hint of sadness. He is to me the ultimate complex villain. He isn't a Darkseid that is evil for evil's sake, or a Joker who is the human mind without boundaries. He does evil, but for good and noble reasons. Some people are willing to kill for a cause, others are willing to die. Magnus is willing to sacrifice his soul for the sake of Mutantkind. His history, as a survivor of the Nazi holocaust, as a mutant freedom fighter and as a terrorist gives the character a foundation that few characters in comic history can match.
Dream Team: Alan Moore & Rags Morales

TV Tonight: 4400 Season 3 Premiere

Forty four hundred
Comes back to TV tonight
the Sci-fi gods smile

I got into the 4400 a little late. I watched the mini series, but then for some reason I just kind of drifted away from the show. A friend was raving about how great it was so I gave it another chance and BAM I'm hooked. It's a little bit X-Files with a dash of Rising Stars blended together with a mocha latte. The show is actually paced better than it's better known genre brethren, Lost. I'm not sure how far the producers will go with the 'war' between the powers and the normals, but it's a concept that hasn't been explored much on prime time TV. So I advise all of my loyal subjects to tune in to USA @ 9pm for an abductarific good time.

Video Games That Need Sequels #2: Power Stone

It may not be remembered fondly in the annals of history, but one of the best video game consoles I've owned was the Sega Dreamcast. I'm not sure if it came out a year too early or a year too late, but for whatever reason the DC never really got a solid foothold here in the United States. It wasn't for lack of games though. Soul Calibur, NFL 2K, Marvel vs. Capcom, Street Fighter 3 and today's subject: Power Stone.

Before you get all riled up, yes I know Power Stone got a sequel, but it deserves another one. Power Stone is a good example of what made the Dreamcast so much fun: party games. Todays console are all about online play, which is great, but if you were having a bunch of people over the Dreamcast (along with it's spiritual successor, the Gamecube) was the way to go, and Capcom's Power Stone led the hit parade. For those of you that have never played this gem, it's basically a 3D fighting game played from an isometric perspective. Or to put it another way, you ran around an environment and knocked the crap out of each other using weapons ranging from bubble blowers, to umbrellas, to axes to flame throwers. If you ended up with three of the titular Power Stones you morphed into the super version of your character for a short time. Simple. Elegant. Fun. While the fighting engine lacked much depth, it more than made up for it in sheer goofy chaos. But alas it's success was not in the cards. Power Stone 2 was released after Sega had announced they would cease production of the Dreamcast and was pretty much dead on arrival. Capcom moved on to other franchises, with varying degrees of success.

Why it deserves a sequel now. With the online capabilities of present generation consoles lag-free gaming, even in a fighting game, is a reality. What was once a great party game can be just as great as an online brawler. Meanwhile the fighting genre is very stratified right now. At the top are the 'elite' fighting franchises: Soul Calibur, Tekken, Virtua Fighter, and Dead or Alive. These games are great, but they are complex and at times daunting for the casual gamer. The also tend to be pretty serious and occasionally mature. They are also very expensive to produce. At the bottom are the innumerable 'old school' fighters Capcom and SNK keep churning out and a whole mess of mediocre licenced fighting games, most based on Japanese anime series. The middle stratum is left pretty empty, so empty that the Mortal Kombat series may be the only property inhabiting it. This is what Capcom could make with Power Stone, and online fighter that is light and breezy with a sense of humor. A game you can just pop in and run with it, but one that also has a bit of depth just beneath the surface. The ball is in your court Capcom. What will you do with it?

Remake News: Battle Royale

Battle Royale is a movie I've never actually seen, but I heard so much about I really want to check it out. Basically it is, like all Japanese films, set in a dystopic future. In this future school kids are dropped on a deserted island where they fight until only one student is left alive. The movie is also ultra ridiculously violent, and here we come to the problem. If it was Quentin Tarantino at the helm I'd be excited. If it was David Fincher I'd be excited. Heck if it was Guy Ritchie I'd be thrilled. But the producers are Neal Moritz (the Fast & the Furious) and Roy Lee (the Ring & the Grudge), neither of whom have a confidence inspiring track record or the clout in the industry to keep the spirit of the original movie intact. My prediction: They change the main characters from middle school kids to college students and the film ends up a PG-13 clusterfuck.

Hat tip - Dark Horizons

TV Tonight: Windfall & Hex

Windfall is the story of 20 people who share a huge lottery jackpot, and how it changes their lives. An interesting concept that is hampered by the presence of Luke Perry. Seriously, I can't look at that guy without seeing him on the Simpsons over a decade ago dressed as Krusty's sidekick. The concept of the show doesn't do much for me, but I'm curious to see how they juggle a cast of 20.

Hex is basically a british Buffy. Teen girl. Powers. School. Angst. Evil. Trendy Clothing and music. Actually from the premise it also seems a bit like Harry Potter with a hot teenage girl as the lead. I'll give it a try as long as I can understand the damn accent this time.

New Guy Gardner mini

Am I excited that Guy is getting his own mini? I'm not sure. Guy is slated to be one of the leads in Dave Gibbons' Green Lantern Corps ongoing starting later this year. I thought that would be the perfect vehicle for him, a leading role but not a headlining one. I'm also not too familiar with Chaykin's writing, other than one issue of Vampire Crime Unit that didn't really grab me. Well I'll definately pick it up and give it a try, but I'm not yet falling over myself in anticipation.

The Shield is coming back for a Sixth season

The Shield is the best drama on television, hands down. And now it's coming back for more. The second half of the fifth season will begin airing in late 2006/early 2007 and word came out today that a sixth season had been picked up. If you're not watching this show, you're missing out on the most engrossingly intense show on television. Early seasons of the show are now airing on Spike.

Korgoth of Barbaria

I've been a bit disappointed with [adult swim] lately. Very few of the new shows they've put on (Stroker & Hoop, Squilbillies, Perfect Hair Forever) have been very good, and the shows that I do love (Aqua Teen, Harvey Birdman, Venture Brothers) haven't aired new episodes in what seems like ages. Then I watched Korgoth of Barbaria, and I smiled again.

Korgoth is to He-Man and Conan what Venture Bros. is to Johnny Quest. It's a parody. It's a deconstruction. It's bloody, tittilating and gross. It also seems to have a deep foundation of reverence for the source material. The Korgoth pilot began with a device straight out of a Robert E. Howard pulp novel, the hero is poisoned and forced to work for the antidote, and ran with it. The inclusion of giant riding pigeons takes the cliched Giant Eagles from Lord of the Rings and craps all over them. Like all good [as] shows it takes a healthy dose of mature content but still keeps things light and fun. This episode was just a pilot, but it seems to have generated a lot of buzz since airing over the weekend, so I'm hopeful it will get picked up, because [adult swim] needs more top shelf stuff like this.

Video Games That Need Sequels #1: Vagrant Story

When I used to work in a video game store I once estimated that about 55% of the console titles on the shelf at any one time were, in some way, shape or form, sequels. Some of these were hits; I'd never begrudge EA for making a new Madden game each and every year even though I don't play the game. Others, like the Ratchet & Clank series or Soul Calibur were great games that warranted further iterations. Then there was the crap. Does the human race really need another Dance Dance Revolution? Is humanity going to cease to exist if we don't get a 45th Medal of Honor title? But what was worse that the metastisizing sequelitis infecting the lymph nodes of the video game industry were the genuinely great, innovtive and fun games that were forgotten in favor of the encroaching dreck. Today I come not to bury these games, but to praise them. First up on the hit parade: Vagrant Story.

Vagrant Story was a bit of an abberation in many ways. It was an RPG from Square Enix (then just Square Soft) that wasn't bogged down with long winded cut scenes. The protagonist wasn't a whiny effeminate pretty boy (even if his name was Ashley Riot). The art was subtle and slightly gothic with a very earthy palette, unlike most Square games which look like they were colored by the irradiated crayon box from hell. It also managed to deviate from the traditional Japanese RPG party and battle structure, instead featured a single character and action heavy gameplay. Vagrant Story also had a great item system, basically your weapons evolved with use. Whack a lot of animals with your spear? Eventually your spear became strong vs. animals. Weapons and armor could also be combined into newer, more powerful iterations. Honestly it was like nothing seen on a console game, much less on a Japanese game. But alas, what made this game great also doomed it to failure. Short, succinct in-engine cut scenes were dead in the water. Xenosaga style bloat-fests were all the rage. Action and puzzle elements in an RPG just couldn't hold off the fishing and dancing mini-games. Gamers in 2000 just weren't ready for a console RPG that was as different as Vagrant Story was. That however is why now is the perfect time for a sequel. The traditional J-RPG just doesn't have the stranglehold on the industry that it did in 2000. Short, interactive cut scenes are in vogue. Oblivion and World of Warcraft have shown that making and modifying weapons can be fun. I know this pean will likely fall on deaf ears over at Square Enix, they're too busy working on a new poofy hair physics engine for Final Fantasy XIII, but this blog isn't for the companies, it's for the fans. (Unless the companies pay me, because I'm a money whore)

My Top Comic Characters, Part 1

So I'm blatantly stealing an idea from Guy LeCharles Gonzalez over at Comic Book Commentary. Here, for your reading pleasure, are my 10 best characters from DC Comics, and what I think are the dream creative team for that character. (Marvel's best will soon follow)

10. Black Adam. My fondness for Captain Marvel aside, Teth Adam has been the best bad ass anti hero in the DCU for the past few years. Under the talented eye of Geoff Johns he's gone from a Cap knockoff to a character the world can't get enough of. I'm ususally not a fan of Anti-heroes, but I just like the character, inexplicably pointy ears and all.
Dream Team: Mark Millar & Alex Ross

9. Oracle. A few months back Barbara Gordon, in the pages of Birds of Prey, wiggled her big toe. This of course triggered a wave of "She's going back to Batgirl" hysteria on the internet. Let me make myself clear. KEEP BABS IN THE CHAIR. As Batgirl she was a bland feminization of an iconic character that was forever doomed to toil in his shadow. As Oracle she is unique in so many ways, not the least of which is her disability. She also wields something very few other characters do, information. In this day, this age of information, she is as powerful in her own way as anyone with an 'S' on their chest.
Dream Team: Warren Ellis & Mark Silvestri

8. Superman. What? Supes is only number 8? Yup. He is a great character, and an icon in every way, but in the hands of most writers he's just ordinary. In fact I was sorely tempted to put Lex Luthor here instead, but erred on the side of conformity this once. That said, in the hands of the greats, Superman can be the best of the best.
Dream Team: Alan Moore & Steve McNiven

7. Deathstroke. Another anti-hero? Maybe I should rethink my stance on them. But to be honest, whats not to like? He wears an eyepatch and carries a sword, so he's already half pirate! That alone should get him on the list. He has been, along with Batman, the most dangerous non-metahuman on the planet. He can go toe-to-toe with any group in the DCU, but still maintains some kind of moral code, even if it's foreign to us.
Dream Team: Garth Ennis & Luke Ross.

6. Amanda Waller. She has no powers. She's overweight. She will kill without hesitation. She is also a brilliant strategist and a true patriot. And this overweight, "normal" woman will look Batman in the eye and tell him to go fuck himself. The former head of Task Force X, and present White Queen of Checkmate, regularly butts heads with the capes and just as regularly comes out on top.
Dream Team: Brian Michael Bendis & Alex Maleev

5. Starman (Jack Knight). What can be said about Starman, the book and the character, that hasn't already been said by better people than I? Emotional. Quirky. Reverent. Fun. Real. When most great characters have been away for a while you long for them to return. With Starman the story, as told by James Robinson, Tony Harris and Peter Snejberg, being so complete I'm content to let Jack Knight rest. For now.
Dream Team: James Robinson & Tony Harris

4. Darkseid. Those eyes. That craggy face. The posture that just screams "Bow down before your master!". In a universe populated by alien gods, men that can turn every thought to life, and demons that can shrivel your soul with a glance, Darkseid stands alone and unchallenged atop the Mount Rushmore of evil. Unlike most of the great antagonists in comics history Darkseid transcends the concept of a nemesis. He has, at one time or another, come into direct conflict with just about every good guy in the DCU without being bound to any one hero or team.
Dream Team: Geoff Johns & Dale Eaglesham


3. Joker. No villain is more famous than The Joker, and with good reason. He successfully made the transition from Batman's early days, to the goofball camp of the 50's and 60's. When Batman was returned to his roots in the 70's by Denny O'Neill The Joker was the first to come along for the ride. As a psychology student I'm fascinated by this most brutal and unpredictable of killers wrapped up in the most innocent and childlike of facades. Joker can be laugh out loud funny on one panel, be disconcertingly creepy on the next, and be pants wettingly terrifying on the panel after that. Countless attempts to copy the magic of the Joker have been made. Few survive to this day. None came even close to the original. Before I go any further I have to say that whenever I read The Joker, I hear Mark Hammill's voice in my head. His performance as the Joker, from Batman: The Animated Series right through to Justice League, is the definitive portrayal of the character. Better than Caesar Romero. Better than Jack Nicholson.
Dream Team: Brian Azzarello & Justiniano

2. Guy Gardner. Is Guy too high on this list? No way. Guy is the most consistently underrated character in comics today, forever overshadowed by other more popular Green Lanterns. He's a hero, but he's also, at best a jerk, and at worst a truly terrible person, but he's still a hero. He'll save the world while staring openly at Power Girl's rack. He can say and do things that no other character can. He is the human Id run wild and wielding a power ring.
Dream Team: Grant Morrison & Doug Mahnke

1. Batman. Who else could be number one? He wasn't the first superhero, hell he doesn't even have any powers, but he is the ultimate character. He can be a reflecting glass for the reader's psyche and the pinnacle of human ability at the same time. He is the man you strive to become and a warning sign of how not to live you life. His supporting cast and rogues gallery is unmatched in comicdom, in both depth and strength. He can work in almost any situation, from chasing down street level thugs to plotting how to take down Darkseid. While "Criminals are a cowardly, superstitious lot." doesn't have the resonance of "Up, up, and away" it's still one of the all time great lines. I believe that Batman is the greatest character in modern fiction, and maybe in any form of fiction through out history. He's the goddamn Batman.
Dream Team: Denny O'Neill & Jim Lee

Manhunter Lives!

Kate Spencer gets five more issues, at least, to kick super villian ass. The world is a better place today.

Corales - Castillo III. Saturday Night

UPDATE!: Well that sucks. The fight is off. Castillo came in 5 pounds over the lightweight limit of 135lbs and Corales refused to go through with the fight this time. Castillo should just man up, fight at junior welterweight and fight the winner of Cotto-Malinaggi.

The first Diego Corales-Jose Luis Castillo matchup was fight of the year. The second bout featured Castillo's doctor trying to literally tip the scales at the weigh-in, and then watch as his fighter wins with an impressive knockout. What will the third bout bring? My prediction, assuming Castillo makes weight this time - a fight of the year contender that features at least 3 knockdowns. Corales TKO 11

I know what you're thinking. What is a nerd site doing talking about boxing? Well I'll have you know that in addition to my many other nerdly disciplines, I am also a Boxing nerd. The Sweet Science doesn't get much publicity these days. In fact the only time the average sports fan hears about boxing is when they are reminded just how embarassing it can be at times. But the true fans, the die hards, know the sublime joy of a great fight. Does this sound familiar? Replace boxing in the previous two sentences with 'video games', 'comic books', 'science fiction' or 'genre television' and you're probably describing how you feel about the media coverage of your hobby. So I'm asking all nerds within the sound of my (virtual) voice to at least give boxing a chance this weekend. If you have Showtime, flip it on about 10:15 eastern and see what has a good chance to be not only one of the best fights you'll see this year, it may be one of the best sporting events of the year as well.

Phoenix: Warsong Announced!

What a weird coincidence. Just two days ago I re-read Phoenix: Endsong, which is one of the best minis I've read since getting back into comics. Earlier today I scanned a page from the series to illustrate the news that Emma Frost may be getting her own movie. Now it's been announce at Wizard World Philly that Greg Pak is returning with Phoenix: Warsong. I'm a little bummed that Greg Land isn't coming back, but with Marc Silverstri on covers and Tyler Kirkham on interiors the art will be fine. The world is a strange place.

Emma Frost: The Movie?

Emma Frost on the big screen? Oh hell yeah. According to our friends at CHUD (via USA Today) everyone's favorite telepathic mutant dominatrix may be getting a cinematic rubdown. This is a brilliant idea. Emma Frost has been the most interesting X character by far the past few years. Grant Morrison made her the real star of New X-Men. Greg Pak & Greg Land gave her great emotional resonance and aven greater titties in Phoenix: Endsong. And Joss Whedon has put her at the center of all the doins' and transpirings in Astonishing X-Men. I'm not exactly sure what the story would be about, but with a director as respected as David O. Russell I'm confident.

Also in the same article they mention the possibility of doing a New Mutants movie. This I'm less enthused about. To be honest New Mutants would make a better TV show than a movie, but I'll wait and see.

Disciples III

I completely missed this at E3.

Disciples 2 is a hell of a game that just hasn't gotten the exposure it should. Whether that lack is due to it being a turn based strategy game, or the horde of shoddy "expansions" that were released for it is up for debate. What isn't up for debate is the art, which is simply gorgeous. I love Oblivion, but for the most part the art in it is nice but uninspired. Disciples stood out from the sea of PC titles with a very gothic art style. The game looked like Luis Royo's coffetable book had sex with an H.R. Geiger painting. It was a welcome change from generic Wizards of the Coast fantasy and the usual Japanese Anime that inhabits almost every other game. Your humble Emperor will post more when it becomes available.

Batwoman Update

I just realized the irony of making Batwoman gay. To fully appreciate this tidbit we have to step into the Wayback Machine, to beautiful, scenic 1953. Dr. Fredric Wertham, a developmental psychologist, has recently written a book entitled Seudction of the Innocent which basically lays all of society's ills at the feet of comic books. The pertinent quote:

Dr Wertham does accuse...Batman and Robin of being a homosexual wishdream, of a man and a boy living together.

In response DC Comics soon introduced Batwoman and Batgirl to Gotham City. While the two never moved into Wayne Manor, they were included in enough of the Dynamic Duo's adventures to ward off any further accusations of perversion. Eventually the furor died down and the two Batchicks faded into oblivion. The irony is delicious.