Lament for an Action Movie

I come this day, with grief in my heart and despair on my soul, to mourn a passing. Not of a man but of an idea. I come today to lay a wreath on the grave of an entire genre of American cinema, the Action Movie.

"What? The action movie isn't dead! You're a pompous jackass."

Yes while I may be a pompous jackass I assure you that the action movie, as a standalone genre, is going the way of the western and the musical. I want to ask all (three?) of you a question; What was the last pure action movie that was released in American theaters? Not 'slash' action movies, like Rush Hour, which is action/comedy, or LOTR, which is action/fantasy, or Star Wars which is action/sci-fi, but straight action. Not an easy question is it. Maybe you said Mr. & Mrs. Smith or The Transporter. But I'd bet at least some of you had to think back to at least the 1990s to come up with an answer. Up until the late 90s your local movie theater was probably swarming with action movies and their stars. Die Hard, Commando, Air Force One, Executive Decision, Marked for Death. Schwarzenegger, Ford, Seagal, Willis, Snipes. All of these names made big money in the previous decade. Now these kind of movies, and some of their stars, are banished to the realms of Direct-to-Video releases and USA networks movie of the week. The only action movies released theatrically now fall into 4 categories

• Pre existing or licenced franchises, such as Spiderman or Star Wars


• Summer special effects blockbusters. Movies like War of the Worlds, or Pearl Harbor that are just platforms to showcase the newest CGI effects.


• 'Epic' stories, like Gladiator, Saving Private Ryan and Braveheart.

What happened to the heist movies? The martial arts romps? The shoot em' ups? And it's not just your local multiplex, television is suffering a similar drought. The 1980's and early 1990's TV grid used to be chock full of fun action shows. A-Team. Knight Rider. Airwolf. Now it's pretty much 24 and a lot of procedural crime dramas. I want to believe, with all my heart, that the action movie isn't dead but it's instead just slumbering, but you can only live with a body for so long before the stench makes you acknowledge it's really dead. I can no longer keep up with the pretense. The action movie lived a long, vibrant life. It brought joy to the eyes of millions. It's time to give it the traditional Viking funeral it deserves. It's children will continue to live on, and thrive, in the projetors and DVD players of the world, much like the seeds of the Western and the Musical cling to cinema today.

I come not to praise the action movie, but to bury it